Kain Fuery Gets a Clue
by flybynight00
Summary: When Jean Havoc figures it out before you do, be embarrassed. Implied Royai.
1. Chapter 1

Manga-verse, slight chapter 37 spoilers. My first fic, so I really need some feedback. I do not own FMA.

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Kain Fuery Gets a Clue

Kain Fuery was used to trusting his coworkers implicitly. Years together meant they functioned as a well-oiled machine, and each member was formidable in his (and particularly HER) own right. Led by Colonel Mustang, whom Kain regarded as an incarnation of the clever (brilliant!), determined (indomitable! fearless!), and generally heroic (principled! badass! stylish!), Kain could not have been happier to be a part of this team.

Which was why his current bafflement was so complete.

The basic outline of the plan made sense: Havoc in the field, Hawkeye sniping, Kain managing communication with Havoc, Colonel Mustang back at headquarters conspicuously _in the office, of course_. The point that had Kain confused was how they would communicate the progress of the mission to _Mustang_, over a phone line that they had to assume was tapped. How could they overlook this?

The first time he mentioned it, Mustang waved a dismissive hand and said "I'll be on the phone with Hawkeye" and turned back to map of that part of the city, making a suggestion to Hawkeye as to the best location for her sniper nest. Kain had too much of a vested interest in the current topic (he was going to be in that tower too) to press the communication issue. He _knew_ that Hawkeye was going to be the contact, that wasn't what he had been asking at all.

The second time Kain raised the subject, Hawkeye said "I _can_ focus on more than one thing at a time, Master Sergeant," in the slightly-amused-and-almost-affectionate tone of voice that made chills run down his spine. But this was too important to let potential obliteration via The Hawkeye Raised Eyebrow deter him from pursuing it.

"What I meant was, what sort of code are you going to use to communicate?"

Mustang glanced up, slightly surprised. "You know what the code names are."

"But to actually communicate what is going on, how can you do that if the line really is tapped? The names we use won't matter if you're talking about the mission as it takes place." _And what if someone overhears you from the hallway? And what's the point in staying in your office if you have the door closed? And how can you create a code that will cover every eventuality of the mission?_

Hawkeye and Havoc had been regarding him with concern; a problem Kain wouldn't let go was one that needed solving. But as he finished explaining himself, he could actually _see_ their interest disappear, as Mustang gave another vague 'ah, whatever' wave.

Ok, a new approach. He cornered Havoc alone.

"Lieutenant, I think there is a problem with the plans for this mission."

Havoc looked alarmed. "Really? Huh. Have you talked to the chief about it?"

"Well, I tried! He just brushed me off!"

"Really? Huh. Where's Hawkeye, no way'n hell he'll –"

"No, no, she brushed me off too!" Hawkeye didn't _brush off_ anyone. Ever. She paid attention and _dealt_ with the problem (i.e. you) as she deemed necessary.

"Really? Huh." Havoc had an extensive vocabulary. "Well, what it is it, anyway?"

Kain was beginning to feel insecure about his own vocabulary, he'd been repeating words so many times recently. Words such as "communication" and "code." He was barely a sentence into his explanation when Havoc casually lit a cigarette saying, "Oh, that again? Nah. It'll be fine."

Kain resigned himself to his fate. It would be too bad to die so young, and his mother might die of the shame of a son executed as a traitor, but really, he'd had a good run, all things considered. He had been looking forward to getting a puppy when he finally made it out of the dorms, though. Ah well.

The night of the mission, he listened to progression of the Colonel's conversation with the First Lieutenant.

Good God. They were disguising their communication via flirting. And Hawkeye was _convincing_. No, wait. Did they just slip in... actual flirting? And they weren't having any trouble understanding each other at all. Wow. How could they make this stuff up off the cuff? It was like they could read… each other's… minds…

Oh.

Ohhhhh.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello all. Several reviewers have asked questions about the actual content of Roy and Riza's conversation. This fic is based very heavily on chapters 35 and 36 of the FMA manga. I didn't make up the mission, location of the participants, all of it. It's in the manga, as is the relevant conversation. So now I have finally done what I really should have when I first published this fic, and transcribed parts of the chapters here for you.

Thank you for all of your support and reviews!

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_Scene: Roy on the phone in his office.  
_

**Roy**: Hello Elizabeth! How are you?

**Riza**: Why Mr. Roy, thanks you for calling me so often. Are you calling from the office again?

**Roy**: Yes, I just had to hear your voice.

**Riza**: Oh! Aren't you smooth. But won't your scaaaaary lieutenant be mad at you if you don't get back to work?

**Roy**: Don't worry. She's on her vacation right now. We just took care of one of assignments, so I let her take a holiday since I got a load off my shoulders.

**Riza**: How nice. The store's been keeping me busy. I don't even think I can go home for a while.

**Soldiers outside door**:

What do you think of that?

So _this_ is what happen when Lt. Hawkeye takes a day off.

She really is his "sitter."

Who uses the military line to try and hit on a woman during working hours? He's got some nerve.

**Roy**: I've been working non-stop since I moved to Central. I'm thinking about taking a break soon.

**Riza**: Oh? Are you planning to go somewhere?

**Roy**: I'm considering fishing… my latest obsession. How about you join me?

_Cut to a scene with Edward, Al, and Winry. Cut back to the office._

**Roy**: Let's see, I'll probably drop by the store tomorrow. What shall I bring you?

**Riza**: Oh, my, thank you. Could I ask for something for Kate as well? She's been working very hard, so – oh, excuse me for a moment, Mr. Roy. Kate! We've got a customer. Could you go get Jacqueline?

_Cut to a series of scenes showing Fuery holed up with Black Hayate and a bunch of communications equipment. He contacts Havoc, who is dressed in masked black combat gear, to alert him of danger. Havoc fights a minor opponent, and reassures the people with him that they will be safer outside than in a building because "the Eye of the Hawk" is on them. Cut to Fuery listening in on Roy and Riza's conversation again._

**Roy**: Looks like your store is getting busy. Shall we end this call?

**Riza**: Don't worry about it. How about you? Don't you have a lot to do?

**Roy**: Not so much, thanks to my excellent subordinate.

**[Fuery** (to Black Hayate): You know, this is my first time hearing your master be so talkative.**]**

_Cut to Riza in a sniper nest talking into a headset._

**Roy**: What's the matter?

**Riza**: A fight, perhaps. Looks like trouble with the customer.

**Roy**: If only such tasteless gangs wouldn't stay around so long.

**Riza**: Really, I don't like it one bit – OH NO. I'll have to get back to you later.

_Cut to Gluttony looming over Riza._

**Riza**: One of our regulars is here.

_Riza tosses away her headset to start shooting at Gluttony. Roy's voice comes from the discarded headset on the floor._

**Roy**: What's wrong? Elizabeth! Hey!

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At this point Roy flashes back to the death of Maes Hughes, who was killed while on the phone with Roy. He goes charging out of the office to the scene of the battle, completely ruining the plan to keep shield him from suspicion with all of the coded talk. Riza will bitch him out HARD later for being such a goober, although he does arrive in the nick of time to save her and Fuery from Gluttony. Still, Roy, way to blow the plan!


End file.
